Dogs embracing their bad boy side as sale of treats plummet
CALGARY, AB – As sales of dog treats have plummeted around the country, dogs are embracing their bad boy side. Ralph, the Labrador Retriever, had become accustomed to receiving multiple treats on the...
View ArticleNew Tim Hortons pizza made with 100% Canadian cardboard
OAKVILLE, ON – Heralding its new offerings as the culmination of nine years of intense laboratory research, Tim Hortons president Axel Schwan proudly announced that the franchise’s new lineup of pizzas...
View ArticleNew Canadian Olympic uniforms made from real Alberta beef
VANCOUVER – The Canadian Olympic Committee and the Canadian Paralympic Committee have partnered with the Alberta Beef Council to unveil the new athlete kits for the Paris 2024 Summer Olympics made...
View ArticleWealthy Canadians demand the Liberals also raise taxes on the capital gains...
OTTAWA – After learning the new federal budget will increase the amount of tax paid by people who make more than $250,000 in capital gains in a year, Canada’s richest citizens are demanding their...
View ArticleDeadpool & Wolverine to finally introduce Canada to Marvel Cinematic Universe
HOLLYWOOD – Superhero movie insiders report the upcoming film Deadpool & Wolverine will at long last introduce the long-rumoured nation of Canada to the Marvel Cinematic Universe. While the MCU has...
View ArticleWas 2003 The Best Year Ever? No, But You People Endlessly Crave Nostalgia...
Nostalgia, Canada – By every single metric, 2003 was a pretty sub-par year but you just need to live in any other time than now, don’t you? So now we have to list a bunch of things from a time you...
View ArticlePoilievre meets with far-right east coast extremists to workshop summer...
NOVA SCOTIA/NEW BRUNSWICK BORDER – Conservative leader Pierre Poilievre has met with far-right extremists camped out on the border between Nova Scotia and New Brunswick, for the purpose of workshopping...
View ArticleCalgary unveils new slogan just in time for wildfire season
CALGARY – City officials have announced that Calgary’s official slogan will change to “Blue Sky City”, just in time for the beginning of the province’s annual Wildfire Season. “We felt that Calgary’s...
View ArticleAmerican 18-year-olds stoked to vote in last presidential election
FRESNO, CA – Across the United States young people who will turn eighteen by November 5 are expressing their excitement at being able to vote in the last presidential election of their lifetimes....
View ArticleEverything freedom loving Conservatives have banned Canadians from doing in...
Pierre Poilievre and the Conservatives plan to make Canada the freest country in the world if (ok once) they get into power. In unrelated news here is a list of everything Conservatives currently in...
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